|
|   So, who would you rather chill with?? The girl in the picture on the left or the one on the right?? HAHA. I know what y'all are saying, 'damn she so ugly without makeup' (with da hood slang). The thing is me without makeup erases me of my actual race. I'm not kidding. When I step out without my eyes made-up, despite my skin tone, aunties start assuming I'm Chinese. At Burger King and at Mr Bean (the one that sells soya foods), the auntie will start asking me what I want in Chinese. I have no problem with that, just that I find it funny. I'll just answer with a curious and innocent ( in other words, blur) look on my face, then they'll switch to English. Me with makeup on the other hand, lets people know i'm Malay. Minah eyebrows? Check. Minah winged eyeliner? Check. Long eyelashes? Check. But some people think I'm Indonesian instead. Like when I was in Pageone at Vivo a few weeks back, a Filipino lady came up to me asking me for a donation for some children's organization ( I still wonder if that was even legal, to enter a bookstore and ask the customers inside for donations), and before I could ask her if any amount of cash would do, she asked me if I was Indonesian. I could have led her on to believe what she thought I was but I'm not like that, so I shook my head 'no'. Race and nationality complications aside, let me start on another issue, that has been haunting me for the past few weeks almost every time I passed by this area, called the area 'outside the Orchard Mrt station connecting Wisma Atria and Ion Orchard'. A bloody joker came up to me saying that he was from some shitty talent /modelling agency and that his agency does ads for M1 and stuff. Upon hearing that I was like, 'uh, okay...ummm, sorry I'm really not interested and I have to rush'. And then I rushed off. Like WTF. I can't ever foresee myself modelling anything. Even a ring, for Pete's sake. Haha. And a teenage boy comes up to me saying I have a potential. Wait till he sees my real face, then he'll regeret he ever stopped me. Haha. This happened about 2 weeks ago and just last week when I passed by the same place, a girl was patting my shoulder and saying 'excuse me' asking me to stop, i assume. I knew I did not drop anything on the floor, so my instincts told me, she must be from the same agency. I just shook my head and zoomed off (trodding in my 4-inch wedgies). It happened to me before at Dhoby Gaut Mrt station too. A China girl, who I could barely understand, did the same thing the teenager did. Bla Bla Bla. That was like my first time being stopped ever since the first of such an incident happened years ago while I was still in secondary school (like me in secondary school, the nerd???). I even gave her my dad's mobile phone no just to get rid of her at that point in time (and so that I would not have to deal with her later if she called, which she did, & my dad answered, haha) . The name card that she gave me even had an english name on it. I was pretty sure it wasn't hers, unless she REALLY had a name that possibly belonged to an Jamaican or African man. So, I'm giving a shout-out to all this people, stop your crap okay and stop wasting people's time. Modelling standards are far and beyond what I can reach and what most Singaporean girls can reach alright? Unless they are seriously talking about local modelling standards, which I will not further comment on. Irregardless, I have no potential, and I do not seek out to make myself have potential. I'm contemplating hanging a picture of my my non made-up face on a necklace or something, just in case it happens again. I'm traumatized. That's all. I didn't expect the story to be sooo long. My back is aching already. Back to youtube. Peace Out, Hamizah | | |
|   
Meet Tobey. Tobey Spots. HAha. I told my mum when I came home last night that I was late cos I was out with my boyfriend, and I swore she had her forehead up in a bunch. She was like 'what?'. Then when I introduced her to Tobey, she was all smiles. I love giving her a shock. And yes, she's still freaky about me entering a relationship, despite me constantly telling her that I have no interest in one. Stupid nonsensical shit aside. Visit my sister site on style and fashion @ http://redfeatherpen.livejournal.com/ Its still new, so gimme a break aite. Working towards improvement every single day. But you'll still get to feel my personality in the entries, cos I put all of me in it. Mind you, I only blog when I'm truly passionate and inspired by the things around me, so my readers get the best of me most times. Love, Hamizah + Tobey S. | | |
| 
its been a crazy few months since I graduated. went straight back to my intern company for the same position till it got too routine. been on hiatus from any job for almost 2 months. alot of people prolly think im broke & is in bits & pieces now right? sorry to disappoint y'all, AM DOING FINE. i mean, money exists to feed the social disease. okay, next. read in Cleo that girls are not following their dreams in this time of recession, but after doing that for 6 months, i could not go on no more. it became too overwhelming. the fact that i am nowhere near working towards my dreams. only people close to me know what they are. if YOU think you know what it is, let me tell you, you're SO WRONG. and wishing me luck with full sarcasm doesn't help either. if you're not concerned at all, i say, that's even better cos its none of your beeswax business. so as i sit here on my bed, typing out this update which is so full of negative energy, i feel i should move on to a much lighter subject. those of you who know me long enough, should be accustomed to my ever so often gushes about fashion mishaps and fabulous formations. so here I am, standing firm on my decision to somehow be involved in this industry that I keep close at heart. however for me to succeed i need to more than love this arena. I need to be knowledgeable about it. the ins and the outs. and most definitely be passionate about it. and so i have to get back to reading all the books i borrowed from the library. history of the fashion in london, about bags through the decades, balenciaga and the MK and Ash Olsen book on the people that influence them. I so love this pair of twins, ever since the 'two of a kind' days. they're matured for their age, and so broad minded in a lot of areas. SALUT. sweet dreams, Hamizah | | |
| 
Life it seems always never fails to give you the sweet as well as the bittersweet moments. Like they say, every day is a new day. And so it happens that yesterday was an entirely different day from today. And speaking of yesterday, there were great things that happened. Things that actually meant life would turn around, for the better.
Dad may, i repeat, MAY get to sell a penthouse, and that means alot for his new career as a property agent. Then brother was among the 5 selected from his school to design 3 outfits for Haagen Dazs' launch of new products (something to do with apricot, which i found out peeking into his computer screen), which will be featured in Harper Bazaar's Singapore. And as for me, FJ Benjamin it seems wants to offer me a job. Based on my record of having worked there twice in the past. I applied to work frontline for Banana Republic or Celine. Yeah, laugh out loud people. Cos you think i'm so dumb to apply for a lowly job considering I have a diploma.
Well, KNOCK YOURSELF IN THE HEAD, and then come to a realization that you cannot be choosy or picky about jobs right now. Cos managerial or management positions are mainly for those with degrees and above, and experience in the field is certainly a criteria. Trust me, i've looked through perhaps hundreds (exaggerating of course) of job ads for managerial positions and I clearly don't qualify. To me, it's alright to work from the bottom and then move up from there, rather than not moving at all, a.k.a. being unemployed, cashless and rotting your ass into a maggot's nest at home. Furthermore, it's a fucking competitive work environment out there. With an influx of foreign talent..........i shall not continue on this subject because i may get rather blatant....
Yeah, anyway, I'm supposed to make a call to the HR manager, on tuesday, because apparently she tried to get through to me this past week, for 3 days in a row, but due to some unfortunate circumstances (either I gave the wrong number to my cell, or my cell was dead for all the 3 times she tried to call). So, you see, I'm happy that at least a company wants me. Haha.
So, I just hope that by next week, I'll be earning some much needed bucks.
XOXO,
| | |
| 
Okay. So the thing is I have this unforgiving mind about what I put into my system. Yes, I'm talking about food. Its Day 2 of writing down what I ate and its appalling when I read what I ate yesterday or what I ate today. I wish I could survive on just Lemonade Cleanse or Cereal and Diet Coke. I haven't started looking at food labels for the fats, calories and sugars. Not yet. Its gonna happen soon. I need energy for mugging so I need to eat, but I've cut down on certain things....but I feel that more things need to be avoided. Like my cream crackers. What the bloody Fuck? There's the chewing and spitting your food out, just to get the taste of things, then there's putting string onto your food, so that when you swallow your food, you pull out the string and makes you want to puke, then there's the aforementioned lemonade cleanse..its gross. But it is what it is. The last time I was on a diet, I weighed a mere 42kg, and I felt really LIGHT. Then I put on 2kg. And maintained 44kg for quite a long time, but realizing that I was becoming INFERTILE, I stopped troubling my parents and wasting their money because I had to visit the family doctor twice. No doubt I don't have plans on becoming a mother, but the part about troubling people, especially my parents was disturbing. So I stopped for them, even though I knew that at the end of the day, they NEVER admitted that I was indeed anorexic. I saw and heard somewhere that it would work if I allowed myself to eat 1000cals a day and that if I exercised I would be able to burn off more weight than I should. Maybe I could try that? But not now. Call me crazy. But I need to lose weight. At any expense. XOXO, H | | |
|
